Chloe Sevigny once told me she liked my dress in a bar in NYC. We had a shot of Jameson together and it tasted like vomit but I was trying to be cool. I didn't finish the shot, but just slammed it on the bar when she did and no one noticed mine was full. Anyway, I think she's great, and it seems that she has been following my progress. Clearly she caught wind that I was at the Girls show at Hoxton Bar & Grill a few months back and liked my garms. Check out the match (I was also wearing a leather jacket). Cool Chlo, I love you too. But if we keep copying eachother, we might just go round in circles...
Me in Oct
Chlo in Dec (Chlo, do you mind if I call you Chlo?)
Cool. More interesting and arguably substantial posts soon. Love you, bye now.
"I'm right into the Blur reunion, 'cos it'll finish off the Kaiser Chiefs and put them to bed. There's nothing worse than a shit Blur. And at least the original shit Blur are back to finish off all these other shit Blurs. I'm bang into the Blur reunion." —Liam Gallagher
So this happened to my best friend's flat this weekend!! It's so terrible! Got a call this morning telling me what happened, so of course I ran over to help clean up.
It's that time of year again. The smell of ink in my nostrils, the taste of Redbull on my tongue, and the only thing in sight is the library. Exam time my friends, exam time. Now I seem to be far more relaxed this year mainly because I'm not doing any work. While this may stunt my progress in exams, I can't help but feel delighted that I haven't been having those revision stressouts. I am just going to let nature take its course. My top five procrastination tips:
1. Exam time is ideal for snacking. The beauty of the whole period is how it because acceptable to eat crap constantly owing to 'stress'. If you wake up early, go get yourself some crisps, chocolate and pack of fags, this is the time to eat whatever the fuck you want. Redbull and coffee from franchised outlets is totally acceptable, despite not actually being able to afford them. The caffeine really works! And even if it doesn't, they sure are tasty, so what can you do
2. If you get the guilt and have to do a little revision, I recommend half an hour revising than half an hour of solitaire as brain training. Perfect excuse for a short break; fun and stimulating! However, never quit before you've won at least one game. (Warning, do not over do it. I've only been able to see things in pixelated form for the last week).
3. If you haven't noticed, the sun is FINALLY out! Pimms is being served again--what better time then now to rekindle all those friendships which seemed to dissolve in the winter. I barely left the house owing to the weather (see post on snow) so now it's only fair to rearrange all those lunches, drinks, wild night outs that I cancelled on before. Besides all the really good things I've been waiting for all year just happen to be happening the week of exams. I can't forfeit a whole year's waiting for an exam! That's silly maths.
4. Resign to exam fate and take up a new hobby that you've always wanted to try. Life is too short to revise something which is probably useless post-university. Instead, think of all the things you REALLY want to be doing. For me, as noted in previous posts, I've taken up skateboarding. Not only is the 'exercise' beneficial, but when I fail the exams I can focus on my true dream of turning pro. (N.B. Hobbies not limited to extreme sports, try chess, cooking, bird watching, doing nothing, French, instant messaging--the list is endless--FOLLOW YOUR HEART).
Before I left for New York, my mum phoned to ask where I was. I told her I was in an airport, about to get on a plane to New York. Slightly confused, she said 'Oh OK, well be safe. Call me when you get back. Don't talk to any strangers!' To which I replied, 'I'll call you when I'm back. Obviously I'm going to talk to strangers!! Anyway, see ya!' I only wish I'd listened.
You see, day two in New York, looking for somewhere to eat, a man offers his help (we must have been sticking out like sore thumbs). We told him we were just looking for some food, and he said that he was going to this great cafe around the corner. He seemed nice enough, so we trotted along with our new friend Brett to find this place. Along the way, talking to this him, it transpired that he was from Gants Hill! A tiny little place, where coincidentally (or not as the case may be) I am from! He knew The Ting Tings. I thought this guy was alright, especially as I shared his ghetto upbringing. I thought we were two peas in a pod. Two fish from Gangsta Hill in a new, big pond.
We reached the cafe and sat down to eat. Bear in mind, this whole time I was miserably hungover. Anyway, as the conversation moved on to how he'd moved to America to pursue acting, he made several references to the changing world. Philly innocently asked what he meant by this 'changing world.' And that was it. This is where it began. To cut a two hour conversation short, I shall try and sum up what followed:
Brett believed that aliens existed, and believed that when they take over, they will 'treat us like royalty' Brett thought the earth was hollow Brett was adamant that we have been time travelling since the 1950's (although could not tell me if it was into the past or future...) Brett was convinced that the Vietnam War was a conspiracy theory invented by the American government to distract people from the unusually high amount of paranormal activity around at that time Brett believed that the world would end in 2012 Brett said his girlfriend could speak to extra terrestrials Brett thought that the ocean was powerful enough to power all electricity, and that we were paying unnecessarily for energy Brett did not believe in coincidences (this tripped me out because when we realised we were both from Gants Hill, he was not surprised in the slightest, but I was freaking out) Brett was a member of a cult Brett hated any sort of media, including books, magazines and the Internet Brett has a Facebook, a Myspace and a Youtube account
After he started talking, I could not believe it. Anything Philly or I tried to counter his ridiculous claims with, he would just dismiss without even listening. Half way through, I had to go to the toilet to be sick. Mainly because of my hangover, but also a lot because of the crap he was talking. He had swallowed a million different ideas and shat them out as one massive turd. Perhaps the worst part was, that this all happened on April Fools. I thought it was a prank at first, alas Ashton Kutcher was no where to be seen. This was real life.
Here's a video of Brett:
I guess mum was right. Never talk to strangers. Especially ones from Gants Hill.
Every year I give a bunch of money to the WDCS (whale and dolphin conservation society) because I think I should be charitable and I love those friendly guys. I generally hate favouritism but this year I'm gonna ask that a bunch of my money is spent solely on this dude:
I'm particularly against stealing of any kind. However a friend of mine recently swiped a book for me, owing to my irrational crush on the star of Twilight. Now, what is the best thing I read in my unofficial Robert Pattinson book? Nope, not that he has an 'unoffical book'. Rather, one of his nicknames is 'Rob'.
Congratulations for jumping on the Twilight bandwagon Orion Publishing, I hope this book makes you a quick buck, but I'm glad you didn't get a penny of me.
'Man still won't come to his senses, and will do something deliberately contrary, solely out of ingratitude, and to insist on his own way.' Notes From Underground.
The next time someone is cruel, know it is because they are bored.
Because I am far too busy (*1) to properly maintain this blog, and this is something slightly (*2) funnier then I could construct myself, I will link you to this very amusing correspondance between some self indulgent student (*3) and Nike.
'Nike now lets you personalize your shoes by submitting a word or phrase which they will stitch onto your shoes, under the swoosh. So Jonah Peretti filled out the form and sent them $50 to stitch "sweatshop" onto his shoes. Here's the responses he received.' Continues @ source: http://www.stallman.org/nike.html
Do excpect an actually blog from me soon. It will actually be collaboration with my favourite friend Philly, with her 5 golden rules for blagging. Stay tuned.
It's going to be hard to derive poor and blunt humour from this blog, because I'm simply making some music recommendations/predictions for the forthcoming year.
Ahem.
I've raved about her for a while now. I prefered older acoustic stuff, but the electronic direction she appears to be going in is hard to dislike. England's answer to Joanna Newsom, I give you Miss Ellie Goulding: http://www.myspace.com/elliegoulding
I discovered this girl by accident. When a band pulled out of my stage at Secret Garden Party, I roamed the fields to find a replacement, and by God was I lucky to find this gem. The most amazing voice I've heard in a while, and a bloody nice girl too. I want her to gain the success she deserves; Azadeh http://www.myspace.com/azadehmusic
Finally, she may have a famous dad (something which I normally find a bit of a farse), but her talent is hard to ignore, regardless of her family. I've been playing it at some DJ gigs, and she's certainly a crowd pleaser; I Blame Coco http://www.myspace.com/iblamecoco
There we have it. Not funny. Girl power apparently. Peace the fuck out.
