I swear to god, snow is one of those massive conspiracies by the government or someone, just like Brussels sprouts. You see Brussels sprouts are not actually that disgusting, they're not great, but they're definitely not gross. However ever since I was young, on T.V. and pretty much everywhere Brussels sprouts were targeted as the worst vegetable ever, and I know for a fact people judge before even tasting. If everyone tasted on their own, I'm sure a new 'mushrooms are fucking rank' consensus would be agreed on. This is not even my opinion, it's a fact.
Similarly snow is one of those things that everyone is told is enchanting and magical. In reality, the only time I ever wished for snow as a child, was only in hope that school would be cancelled and I could spend the day watching Loose Women and feeling better about my life. I questioned my own cynicism and thought maybe I was a snow pessimist because living in London snow is actually grey, but having been on a cruise around Alaska and Canada, there is no doubt in my mind that I'd have rather been in the Caribbean. The thing about snow in London is that all that settles in a paper thin layer of what is essentially sleet. If you try and gather some to make a snowball, it is not far off assault because London snowballs are more gravel , rocks and litter than snow. A snow fight is more likely to end in tears than winter joy. Plus, at 20 years old (good god) I am beyond the age where I can ask for lifts from my parents, at the age where trains stop too early, and before the age where I can haul a taxi without my bank balance reaching red. So a winter waiting in Stoke Newington for the fucking 243 bus for 30 minutes in minus 10 degree weather is bad enough as it is without snow extinguishing my last cigarette.
I just find it weird that people spend the run up to Christmas praying for snow, when they could be wishing for 100 degree sun. What a wasted prayer.

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